I read a really good article tonight on VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) http://www.newsweek.com/id/235317. I was exceptionally touched by this statement- "Often overlooked is a woman's fundamental and primal desire to undergo the birthing rite of passage, to have a baby the way babies have been born from the beginning of humankind, complete with the roller coaster of emotional and physical experiences—pain, joy, power, and, ultimately, an overwhelming sense of accomplishment." To take this away from women by forcing them to have an unnecessary cesarean is devastating, trust me I know.
This is me in labor with Jude. I went in wanting an all natural birth. I was grossly uneducated on the "standard procedures" that take place in the hospital. Like too many women, when late evening rolled around and my doctor was ready to go home I got branded FAILURE TO PROGRESS and was rolled back to the operating room.
This is Jimmy getting the great pleasure of introducing our new baby to the family.
This is me being wheeled out of surgery, cold, thirsty, shaking uncontrollably, and wanting to hold my baby.
This is me (sort of) holding Jude for the first time.
This is a tragic way to experience birth and I don't think most people realize how scarring it can be for a mother. Yes, the most important thing is that the baby is alive and healthy but what becomes overlooked by everyone around you is the birth you had envisioned and dreamed about is dead.
Still uneducated, with Jude's birth filed away in distant memories, I agreed to a repeat cesarean with Lennon. It makes me sad to think about how unemotional Lennon's birth was. You lie down on a table with your arms strapped down, completely naked and spread out for everyone to see, the doctor slices you open and pulls your baby out, all while discussing with the surgical team what she did last weekend. Then they take the baby away and everyone except for me gets to watch Jude meet his baby brother for the first time. Two hours later I get to nurse Lennon for the first time.
Well, I am finally educated and the next time around things WILL be different.
=( i'm sorry it was like that paige, that sucks! i've always been (and especially now that having kids is more of a possibility) kinda militant about natural births. my mom had all four of us natural and the last two at home with a midwife.
ReplyDeletei've been super lucky to be educated about this whole thing before i even begin to think about getting pregnant. i want everyone to know what their options are!!!
yes! yes it will be different! and amazing, painful, beautiful. its easy to forget the unbelievable pain yet somehow you always remember the process. it plays over and over in my head almost daily even two years later. the hardest thing i have ever done and the most rewarding thing i have ever experienced. you will get your chance and i can't wait for you to have that for yourself!!
ReplyDeleteOh Paige,
ReplyDeleteThis is EXACTLY the way my two girls were born, and it tears me up inside almost daily. The kicker for me is I do not think I get to have any more babies, and where I live (on an island) VBAC is against the law. *gasp* So I do not desire any more births. :( I hope this baby goes well for you and you get to experience what I have only heard about.
*hugs*
~Joei~