quote of the day and more on birth

“Birth has been broken. The spirit of women with respect to their innate birthing power has been broken. We can do nothing about the millions of broken births that have already taken place, but by seriously looking at the effect of fear–the powerful emotion that clouds our thinking and causes the birthing body to break down–perhaps we can keep the finely tuned, precision bodies of women whole for future generations…” –Marie Mongan

25 weeks pregnant, sitting on the birth ball reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth on the back porch tonight.

Lennon turned two last Saturday and while I was driving to the dairy around 6:45 that morning I thought to myself wow, two years ago at this exact time I was laying naked flat on my back with my arms strapped to a table in a cold operating room waiting for my baby to be cut out of my body. I let some tears roll down my cheeks then pushed the thoughts out of my head so I could get myself together before I got to work. That's all I can ever really do, just push the thoughts aside. It never gets easier and it's always emotionally painful to think about. On the positive side of things, I would never be who I am today without my previous birth experiences. My eyes have been opened, I am educated, I am strong, I am determined, I believe in my body, I have a deep trust in nature, the fear is gone.